I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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