Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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