No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She bit a glass in half.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
