stop calling my apartment porn island.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
