I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
