So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The uberlube is also flammable
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
