Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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