we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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