I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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