don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
