Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
