no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize