Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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