Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
