so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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