Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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