PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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