it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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