You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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