you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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