Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
