I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
