ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
