I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
