How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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