no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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