Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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