I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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