As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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