You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
