what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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