Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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