You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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