I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
did you just send me my own nude
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
