the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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