I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
