i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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