I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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