You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
