mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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