sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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