all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
