"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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