what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize