I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
tell me about the eggs
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
