if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
