tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
