We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
