at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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