yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
