I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
