I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize