; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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