So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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