all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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