I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
